Getting Schooled French Style; The Re-gift

Intelligence, wit, and charm are qualities most highly valued in France. As a guest at the table of friends, one is expected to arrive with ones A game (and a bottle of wine). The French love to argue and will challenge even the most obvious point ad nauseum, in a sort of verbal game of table tennis. Prove yourself a formidable opponent, and you win respect. Have nothing of interest to say and you will not be invited back! The French love affair with intelligence extends to insults as well, the most cutting delivered with a strong aftertaste of saccharin. Of course one hears from time to time the sort of common insults that are internationally understood, (especially from the younger generation) but the well heeled Parisian prefers a more creative approach. An "Excusé moi, monsieur" can be delivered dripping with acid so strong one needs a haz-mat suit, and if you unwittingly commit a faux pas may the Saints protect you! Revenge being a delicacy in France much like escargot, champagne, and foie gras, savored like a fine Armagnac, and enjoyed as much as chocolat noir, there are many dramas unfolding in the city; plots carefully thought out for maximum effect. The following is a true story. The names have been changed to protect the culpable. Three colleagues (female) working for the same company befriend one another, lunch together, and ultimately decide to exchange birthday gifts. We will call them Marie-Claire, Geraldine, and Rhonda. The first year, Marie-Claire offered Rhonda a thoughtful gift of her favorite parfum - not an altogether cheap gift, as she prefers Chanel. A couple of months later, it was the anniversaire of Marie-Claire. Rhonda offered her a gift; a cheap child's plastic bracelet on elastic - an insult! The next year, Marie-Claire offered Rhonda a book written by her favorite author, but when it was Marie-Claire's birthday Rhonda offered nothing, and said nothing to acknowledge the day. Of course it hurt Marie-Claire's feelings, but she was discreet. The next year arrives, and goodhearted Marie-Claire offers Rhonda another thoughtful gift, only to be forgotten yet again on her birthday by Rhonda. Finally, in private she mentions this to Geraldine - she is vexed by Rhonda's lack of consideration! Geraldine concurs; she has also been insulted. Geraldine tells Marie-Claire about the gift she received from Rhonda the year before; a child's plastic bracelet on elastic. The identical cheap bracelet she had offered Marie-Claire! (They must have been 2 for 3 euros.) When they realized what Rhonda had done, Geraldine had revenge on her mind. It took a year to exact, but her patience paid off; for her birthday this year Rhonda received, wrapped in exquisite handpainted paper and tied with beautiful ribbon, a re-gifted child's plastic bracelet on elastic. SNAP!