One Scoop or Three?

The french love their dessert. It's one of the things they do best, actually. Tarts of all description, death by chocolate, and custard tempt one to forget the names "Atkins" and "Craig" and embrace the concept of muffintops and eventual cardiac arrest. The pastry here is edible art, the patisseries gallerias of eye candy. Dessert is also big business for restaurants here in Paris. From around 5 euro to 7.50 a pop, you can spend nearly as much for dessert and coffee as for a decent meal. For day to day life, I prefer to buy my treats at the patisserie at 1/3 the price and have my café at home, but once in a while it is fun to indulge when I'm out on a big fat parisian dessert! I have two favorites: The tiramisu at La Trattoria on rue Convention (in the 15th), and the big bowl o' chocolate mousse at Chéz Janou (near Bastille). The latter is an "all you can eat" situation. Arriving in a huge family size bowl and served with a giant spoon you take as much as you like. I often imagine myself diving nude into the cloudlike chocolatey heaven and smearing it all over my body..... but back to the subject at hand. As I mentioned in my previous blog "Café Culture", the dessert menu is somewhat predictable in the typical parisian bistro. I have never seen a menu that did not include crème brulée, tart du jour, or glaces et sorbets. Ice cream is a popular choice, usually served in a large dish with a mountain of whipped cream and a cookie. I don't usually order glace for dessert as three scoops are encouraged and it's just too much! Two scoops would be baby bear, but here's the thing: The only thing the french love more than dessert and a good argument is the "double entendre". Now I have been living in Paris nearly three years, and during that time have been to more than my share of restaurants. I began to notice an unusual phenomenon (by american standards) on the french dessert menu all over town. It is possible to order 1 scoop of ice cream, known as a "boule" en française. Or, you may order 3 boules of glace (with or without the mountain of whipped cream). Ice cream is like a martini, one scoop is not enough and three are too many. I would prefer 2 boules s'il vous plait! When I dared request such a thing I was laughed at and given an emphatic "No!" What up? I asked my friend Viviane to explain. It seems that boule is another word for testicle. To be specific deux boules refers to the reproductive region of the male anatomy - that is why one orders either 1 boule of glace or 3 boules. To request deux boules is like asking for testicles on ice, if one prefers two scoops, one requests "deux parfums". For three scoops, one says "trois boules s'il vous plait" because as everyone knows, the man with three testicles n'exsist pas! BTW, now that I am hep to the jive I love to turn it around and punk the french by innocently requesting "deux boules: un chocolate et un vanille s'il vous plait!" The waiters grin knowingly and Vivianne collapses in laughter before chastising me, "Eets deux parfums Elisabet!"